My daughter tears this Knob Creek ad out of one of her latest National Geographic magazines, brings it to me and says - in a bit of a brusque tone - "Do you know what's missing from this picture, Papa?"
I Look at it, in silence for a few moments and posit an answer - "a woman?"
"See, YOU know", she says, and walks back to her bed before continuing "...and I'm going to cut out a picture of me and paste it onto this ad."
I recently moved to Boulder, Colorado from Corvallis, Oregon and was surprised at how much 'stuff' I'd accumulated in my nearly 20 years of marriage. Having lived in the same town for the last 15 years, I was relatively unfamiliar with and unprepared for how much it would take to to pull it off. Despite our best efforts to prepare for and make the move and transition as smooth as possible, I was taken aback at how difficult it was to do this one little thing - cancel our cable television. Maybe The Cable Guy should have prepared me.
All we had for cable was the most basic of the basic packages. Thirteen bucks a month. That's it. Nothing at all bundled with it. No internet. No cell service. No fancy-dancy channels. No frills. Just the most basic package - the package they don't even list anywhere on the web - the package you have to ask for but doesn't have any name and they hassle you and hassle you and hassle you to get something with more options and more bells and whistles. The most basic of the basic cable.
But it could NOT have been more difficult to disconnect. We couldn't do it over the internet. We couldn't do it by simply writing CANCEL on our bill. We had to call and talk to somebody. Ok. I like talking to people. Sure. Why not. Except...in all the busyness of moving, it fell through the cracks so my beautiful, beloved bride took it upon herself to ring them to cancel our service. I'm sure she's regretting that decision. Here's why.
You'd think it would be a simple thing, calling to cancel service. One click (maybe two) and you can unsubscribe from unwanted email lists. Writing 'cancel' on magazine subscriptions does the trick. So just asking someone to cancel should be easy, right? Not so much.
First you have to wade through the automated, voice command menus that never seem to correctly interpret what you're saying. Then the lengthy wait for a real person to talk to you (unless you call Apple). After a real person finally does get on the line, you can't simply request for your service to be turned off. You have to listen through an interminable litany of reasons their customer service agent thinks you should keep their service. No thank you. Then you have to listen to all the 'perks' they'll add to your package if you just keep it. We appreciate that, but still no thanks.
Then you have to listen through all the reasons they think it's silly for you to cancel. It's insulting you think trying to make us feel stupid is an acceptable marketing or customer service strategy. No, we're certainly not more inclined now that you've tried insulting and badgering us. Whats that?! What's that?! *sarcasm* Oh NOW you're willing to hear our reasons why we no longer want cable?
At this point - nearly 20 minutes into this call - my usually patient and understanding spouse is starting to get a little miffed and no longer expecting a pleasant nor expedient conversation. But she pulls deep for a little more patience and explains that we simply don't watch much television, that we'd rather spend our time doing other things. The customer service agent, in a pleading and nearly incredulous tone, asks "but what in the world we're going to do in the evenings without television?!"
I was listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man" song the other day and was struck by how profound the lyrics really were. I've sung that song over and over again, and loved it every time...without really hearing the message. This is definitely a song I want to learn to play on the guitar...and play/sing with my son.
Sorta like this fella playing/singing this awesome 4 Non Blondes song ("What's Up?") with his daughter.
Three cheers for parenting to classic rock...
Lyrics to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man"
Mama told me, when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely, to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Ohh take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come, and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.
(Chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
And maybe some day you'll love and understand.
Baby be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(Chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
And maybe some day you'll love and understand.
Baby be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(Chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
And maybe some day you'll love and understand.
Baby be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
