Revisiting some things core to me

I love that Facebook routinely dredges back up posts and pictures from years past. The picture Facebook brought back this morning reminded me of a couple of core, foundational aspects of who I am, of my true heart - nature inspires me and I love sharing that inspiration with others, with you.

Eight years ago today, on a tiny creek in the Willamette Valley just outside of Corvallis, Oregon, on a cold and blustery Fall day, I was warmed inside by the fascination, curiosity and inspiration I saw in the faces, minds and hearts of a bunch of homeschooled children and their parents (short photo album) as we explored parts of nature they had rarely seen or interacted with - it's one thing to know about something; it's another thing entirely to understand it, to feel the connection to something broader than our own private spaces. The collective fascination we all held that day was captivating.

I've mused about this sense of awe and wonder, curiosity and inspiration a lot over the years - still regularly do. I wrote this blog post (reflection) shortly after one of these field trips.

https://notquiteconvergent.blogspot.com/2009/10/fostering-sense-of-place.html

...then wrote about a related notion a few years later - fostering a sense of place.

https://notquiteconvergent.blogspot.com/2012/03/getting-to-know-area-you-live-in.html

Today, I was reminded these things are core to who I am as a person. And I love sharing this with you all. All of this from a simple Facebook reminder of an image I posted eight years ago today. Sometimes the little things remind me of something much larger - what a marvelous little big reminder today. Thank you, Facebook, for reminding me of this memory...and of something much larger.

A reflective thought for the morning - life's path and a PhD

"Wonder" - flickr user Jeremy Isaacson

Fifteen years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago, I would see PhD opportunities come through my email stream almost daily and I'd gaze at them, wondering if I could do it, longing to try, to test my mettle, yearning for more learning.

A little less than five years ago, at the encouragement of my partner​, we decided the timing was right to at least see if this path was one we wanted to take. After lots of discussion, even more prayer, and so. much. time listening for answers - the answers came in. And they came in by the shipload. It was clear that I was being called to teaching and education. In what capacity, I didn't know (still don't). But a PhD was THE next step to take.

Trusting in those assurances we were heading in the right direction, but not seeing/knowing the outcome - where would it lead me, what sort of job would I eventually be in, where would we be living, etc. - was incredibly difficult for me...because I'm a planner and like the control of my own destiny. But I soon came to realize I was focusing too much on the exact path and where it took me rather than lifting my head and looking around, appreciating the moment and everything around me. And it's glorious! I'm still working on honing this new perspective for me, but it's lovely, this horizon line.

After swallowing the collective lumps in our throats, steadying our nerves, and trusting in the ways that are right and just, we stepped off into the the great unknown. And what a journey it's been. It's not always easy - in fact, many times the path is fraught with troubles. But I'm so grateful to be in this PhD program, in this moment in my life, with such remarkable support from friends, family, and my partner and children.

All this, and so much more, came immediately bubbling up when I saw an email in my inbox this morning for a PhD opportunity at Iowa State University. While I have taken to passing over these PhD opportunity emails (at least for the time being), for whatever reason seeing the email this morning struck me quick. And helped me realize just how grateful I am to be here. If I wouldn't have listened to my heart, listened to trusted friends and family around me, nor had my head up and eyes and ears open to all the signs pointing me here, I may still be sailing troubled waters.

Funny how these things happen.

If YOU have ever been curious about graduate school and want to chat, I'm happy to - leave a comment here and we'll connect. If you're looking for a listing of federal jobs, check out USA Jobs. If you're looking for graduate school jobs, check out NatureJobs and ScienceCareers. If you're a recent graduate of college, or a current student, check out this job board. Looking for a fisheries career, check out the AFS jobs board (THE most visited page on their website). Looking for a wildlife career, check out TWS jobs board. Looking for academic jobs, check out Chronicles of Higher Education's job postings. Looking for non-academic jobs, check out VersatilePhD.

Thank you for sharing this reflective moment with me. Now go follow your heart.

Is this the right path for me? - knowing and walking in it

For more than 20 years I have rebuffed various calls from leadership in churches I've attended to give - as laity - faith teachings. Lead small group discussions? No problem. One-on-one discussions? You bet! Talk in front of everybody on Sunday? Nope. No thanks. Not gonna do it. Didn't matter what my heart was telling me. Didn't matter that I had, at various times, felt compelled to deliver a particular message. My answer was basically always no.

Until this last January.

My family and I have been attending Corvallis Mennonite Fellowship for several years now. There is no senior pastor, only a pastoral team responsible for setting up weekly teachings. Thus, we rely on visiting pastors and teaching from attendees of the congregation. And I got the tap on the shoulder. The subject material could NOT have been more appropriate and timely in my life - how do I know the will of God?

Wow. Are you kidding me?! My family and I were facing one of the toughest decisions we had yet faced – if, when, and where to go to graduate school. You see, I’ve long felt compelled to teach. This desire had been recently re-affirmed – on several occasions and quite strongly – during quiet reflecting time while attending a couple of transformative Bootcamp Northwest events and a Gary Barkalow “It’s Your Call” weekend. Getting a PhD (piled higher and deeper?) seemed like the next logical step. But was I just being crazy? Or selfish? I mean, I already had a few degrees from Oregon State University and after nearly 15 years in Corvallis had developed quite the community! Was this potential move a good idea? Was it part of “the plan”? Reflecting on discerning God's will seemed like a pretty worthwhile endeavor, given we were contemplating moving away from the well-connected life we'd built in the area. On the other hand, it felt presumptuous to think I could even 'know' something like God's will. Regardless, despite this and my history of substantial reservations, I said yes. Emphatically, even.

Mysterious ways, indeed!

And what a remarkable experience it was. Not necessarily the actual Sunday teaching, which was good for me...but the time I spent reflecting on discerning God's will. Tuning out the distractions and listening, truly listening, was a good reminder that our minds are typically too crowded with...things, to regularly hear God talking to us. It was time for me to 'check out' from all of life's busyness for a bit, and ratchet up the quiet, reflecting time.

And the messages flowed. Freely. What follows are my responses to the questions the pastoral team asked me to consider responding to. In a nutshell, I came up with six ways in which you and I can discern God's will. 

But regardless of whether you believe in God, I think you'll find many of the following can serve as good indicators if you're following the path that's right for you.

Are there others I missed? Please do let me know your thoughts!


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HOW CAN YOU AND I KNOW THE WILL OF GOD?

We cannot presume to know how God's will will play out in our lives...but we DO have a number of clues that can help us discern God's will in the present moment. And in the larger picture.

Read and reflect on Romans 12

How have you experienced the gladness of knowing you have chosen God’s good, pleasing and perfect will?

I can only describe it as 'Living in The Sweet Spot'

I can sometimes hear God's voice. Clearly. For me, it's often conversational. And intoxicating.

Take a deep breath, and get real high. Sense of euphoria.

Seeing the glorification of God.

How have your seen God work good things out of bad or evil circumstances?

What strikes me first is the West Nickel Mines Amish School shooting and the incredible story of forgiveness. Like a ripple in a pond, we’ll never know just how far God’s message reached but it sure made a lot of people take pause and reflect on God and Christianity (spirituality in general) and the remarkable healing power of forgiveness. 

I recently watched a moving film about Lonnie Frisbee – The Life and Death of a Hippie Preacher. Lonnie was one of the most influential and charismatic figures of the Jesus Movement of the 1960s and 1970s. He helped spark/found the Calvary Chapel and Vineyard Movement Churches, two of the largest evangelical denominations to emerge in recent decades, from which countless people have been helped and heard the Good News. But, by his own admission and words, he struggled with "an affliction" (homosexuality) throughout his life, eventually dying in 1993 from AIDS. He was essentially written out of the history books of both denominations and ostracized from the church, but – on his deathbed – he forgave those who had wronged him. What struck me the most from the film about his life, the message I heard loud and clear, was that despite what we may view as our inherent shortcoming and failings - our brokenness - God can use us for remarkable good! 

The big question (at least for me) -- How do you/I know the will of God? 

I came up with six ways (though there are likely others):

1. Is your will or desire Biblical? Can you find mention of it in the Scriptures? Dig into them…

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for ruin, to give you a future, and hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Test it out. Be not conformed to this world. (Romans 12:2 and again in I John 2:15-17)

Do justice. Love kindness. Walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8)

Love one another. (John 15:12)

Pray for others. (Romans 15:30-33)

Abstain from immorality. (I Thessalonians 4:1-8)

Be wise, not foolish. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

Live in His grace. (Ephesians 5:1-20)

Word of God (Scriptures) should abide in us (John 15:5-8)

Seek the kingdom of God first. And His righteousness. (Matthew 6:33)

Does evil lie close at hand when you do what you believe is right? (Romans 7:18-24)

Give thanks. In all circumstances. REJOICE! (I Thessalonians 5:18)

Be vigilant against temptation (watch, pray; Mark 14:38; Matthew 26:41)

Do not be deceived. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)

Pray earnestly (Luke 10)

Slow to anger. Abounding in steadfast love. Forgiving iniquity and transgression. (Numbers 14:18)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In everything acknowledge Him. And He will make your path straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Ask it of God. (James 1:5)

And so many others...

2. Is it a desire of our heart? Do you feel compelled toward some end?

Search your heart and you will know what the mind of the Spirit is (Romans 8:27)

God is producing in you, both the desire, and the ability to do what pleases Him (Philippians 2:13)

BUT…the desires of the heart can be deceitful (Matthew 15:19) so be vigilant against temptations of the flesh.

Is there an earthly (and Godly) need your desire fills?

3. Does it seem to be within your gifts and/or abilities?

Are you working within your gifts of the Spirit? Within your abilities?

If you are unsure of what your gifts or abilities are, ask others. Reflect on what makes you tick… 

4. Do opportunities and/or situations keep cropping up?

Are there recurring themes in your life? Does something keep presenting itself?

Do doors keep opening? Or closing? Probably a good indication...

5. Is your initiative magnified (in one direction or the other)?

If you take the initiative – that first step – what happens?

Did that effort get magnified, in one direction or the other?

Your ears will hear a word from behind you saying “This is the way. Walk in it.” Whether you turn to the right or the left. (Isaiah 30:21)

When you make a decision and have a thought about something, does doubt immediately creep in? Are you immediately met with that little voice in your other ear sowing discontent, self-doubt, spite? (Passage from A River Runs Through It, pp. 19-20, where Paul is describing whether or how to approach a particular run on the river where he's watching a big fish rising [or is he?])

6. Seek the Opinion and counsel of others. How do they see this desire fitting you?

You have a circle of friends and colleagues – peers – that know you. Even if only from an outsider’s perspective. Talk with them about what they see in and about you.

Seek the counsel of others. They can be your peers, those with plenty of experience, those with little, or even those that have only known you briefly – each will have valuable insights. But be careful – don’t “stack the deck” of those you ask, picking those you think will give you the answer you want to hear.

Tiny bits of unconditional love (a guest post from Tony Cannon)

All you need is love...and two other things.

I've spent a lot of time in thought lately about why people have problems with each other and, while that is natural and even acceptable, how we can get over those problems to still be able to cohesively be a part of the same community without a lot of lingering angst.  I keep coming back to the same idea without a way to really defeat it: love.  Not based on how well someone does their job, whether they smile at us in the hall, whether we like them or not, agree with their personal beliefs, but love that is unconditional.  And it doesn't have to be a lot.  Just a tiny, tiny bit.  If we felt the tiniest bit of unconditional love towards every other person, how much better would things be?  It would be easier to forgive people when they wrong us (perceived or actual), it would be easier to disagree and still get things accomplished.  It would make life more enjoyable.  We wouldn't have to show it necessarily, just feel it internally and recognize it when it came time to rely on it.

Hypothetical: If there was a staff member who I strongly disliked/wronged me/thought did a terrible job/etc., and I saw them crying alone, what would I do?  Keep walking; give support, but with conditions; or just give support regardless?

It doesn't mean we don't have conflict between one another, but that the conflict is confined to a single situation and doesn't overlap to the point where it's only what we have with that other person.

Emotionally, people need 3 things from others (regardless of their age, talents, deficiencies, position, or any other definable feature):
- love
- respect
- purpose

It can be argued that respect is a filtered form of love and also that you cannot have purpose without respect.  As a school, do we have systems in place to cover those?  Purpose, yes; respect, sort of; love, no.  And even with regard to purpose, how much of that system is based on respect?  What do our personal, internal systems show with regards to those 3 things through our actions towards others?  

When I was a Special Education Instructional Assistant substitute educator in Salem, these 3 things are what I lived by (though I was only able to define them recently, I just went by "feel").  I would go from school to school, program to program, room to room, kid to kid.  Kindergarten, high school, college prep, all types of Special Ed rooms, and everything in between.  Unlike a teaching sub, I wouldn't have the luxury of being able to deflect student issues amongst 30 students, I had to focus mostly on one student, and it was usually the most difficult one.  And while the other workers would have weeks to build a rapport with a high-maintenance student, I'd have minutes at best before I saw flames reaching over the edge of the handbasket the student and I were in together.  When things would start going south, I'd try and recognize how I was failing that other person, how they were failing me, how we were failing each other, leaving out emotions like guilt, hurt, shame, embarrassment.  "How can I solve this within two minutes?"  Smiling was almost always part of the solution.  I'd always try and cover the difference as much on my own as I could and that would usually make the other person feel comfortable and willing to cover the rest of the way.  We have to be willing to recognize when we're failing other people, then be willing to do something positive about it, even if they're hurting us.  We also have to be willing and able to recognize when someone else is failing us, yet is unable or unwilling to cover it on their end.

Regardless of what problems, either as individuals or overall as a school, we think we may have, don't they all boil down to one or more of those 3 things lacking in a given situation, from one or both sides, and in varying degrees?  How can I solve an interpersonal issue quickly, respectfully, in a way that will last?  While doing this, I have to realize that there’s a good chance I’ll have to give more than the other person, and that this may never be reciprocated down the road.  I’m okay with that.  Tiny bits of unconditional love.

Tony Cannon is a father, husband, professional educator, amateur photographer, and recreational philosopher, among other things. He frequently blogs about hiking at http://wildumpqua.blogspot.com/.

Fostering a Sense of Place

 

Not long ago, I found myself amidst a group of energetic 6th graders on a field trip to Andrew Wiley Park (Sweet Home, Oregon) on the banks of the South Santiam River. The field trip, sponsored by The Freshwater Trust (formerly Oregon Trout and the Oregon Water Trust), was one of dozens that are held each fall in Oregon as part of the Salmon Watch program (now a part of StreamWebs.org) designed to raise kids’ awareness of and appreciation for the value of native wild fish, aquatic conservation, and environmental stewardship. It’d been nearly six years since I last volunteered my time with this particular program and I was reflecting on the similarities and differences I observed in the kids then and now. Probably true the world over, the kids on this particular field trip displayed their youthful exuberance and boundless enthusiasm (and thirst) for learning. They were both playful and inquisitive, outgoing and shy, noisy and quiet, grossed out by a decaying salmon carcass but too engrossed in learning something novel and being able to touch it to pull themselves away. For all apparent purposes, this group of kids could have been any normal group of kids.

Mostly I was struck by an underlying and unspoken – yet acutely aware of – sense from many of the kids that being outdoors and interacting with the rest of the natural world was an almost completely foreign occurrence for them. And I was saddened (I actually felt a dull pain in my chest/heart) to realize that for many of these kids, this probably was one of the first times in their lives they’d been encouraged to explore the outdoors. I’m an eternal optimist but couldn’t help but think that perhaps Richard Louv is right – too many children these days are afflicted with nature-deficit disorder.

But I found a great deal of hope and inspiration in this group of kids’ inquisitive, playful attitudes and eagerness to “dive right in” and turn over rocks, touch a decaying salmon, and ask the tough questions (e.g., “Why do salmon have to die?”). I loved seeing them get excited about the world around them…and I couldn’t help but catch some of that childhood wonder. It was a remarkably rewarding positive feedback loop and I basked in its warm glow for some time while we all stood by the river’s edge, awed by nature’s complexities. And I was glad to know that groups like The Freshwater Trust are out there making sure opportunities exist for kids to “get connected” to nature. Any more, too many of these types of opportunities are disappearing. While we find ourselves in tough economic times, more and more people are “staying local” and exploring their surrounding areas. Wouldn’t it make sense to bolster programs that speak to the local areas, environments and critters rather than cutting them? And give recognition to businesses that are not only willing to let their employees disappear from a day of work to volunteer with programs like this, but are committed to helping our children develop these connections and foster that sense of wonder? Our world needs more of these people and programs.

Nevertheless, my interactions with these children left two deep (and familiar) impressions on me. First, if conservation efforts are to have a lasting effect, children need, at an early age, to develop and maintain an intimate relationship with the rest of the natural world – we, their parents, friends and relatives, are the foundational role in that development; we are their keystone examples. Second, regardless of age, it’s important to foster the child in all of us – for that same childhood sense of wonder is what keeps many of us moving forward. And if we don’t maintain that childlike sense of wonder as adults, how can we hope to pass it along to our children?